Inspiring Interview - Nate Adlam of Social Sage

I had the pleasure of connecting with Nathan Adlam after he invited me to take part in a expert-led guest post on ‘How to be Charming‘. He is the Founding Editor of Social Sage: An Introvert’s Guide to Charm and I have been following him on social media since we connected. I really love how he writes and the tips he shares. I’m an introvert so I can definitely relate on that level, but it’s also his fun approach to life, love and business. I find him very inspiring and so had to include him in my Inspiring Interview series. I hope you enjoy it. Make sure you check out his Big Ass List of Articles (aka his blog lol) and you’ll see what I mean. He’s a total cool dude. If you like what you see, then grab one of his free eBooks here on how to have interesting conversations and how to avoid the friend zone.

How did you become a Social Sage and set up such a cool business?

Growing up, I was always an over-analytical, stuck-in-my-head, introverted person. Those characteristics were great for getting A’s, but not necessarily for picking up chicks. Over the years, I’ve realized that you can get the most out of life when you are not held back by limited social skills. I have wanted to find a way to gain the benefits of having incredible charm even as an introvert who enjoys time alone.

Who are your typical clients?

My typical clients are introverted guys in their 20s. Guys who want to improve their charm and social skills that will allow them to attract the women and build the relationships they want. These guys usually tend to be engineer-types and those who spend a lot of time in their own head.

What tend to be their biggest challenges?

The biggest challenges come from their own heads. “Oh, she’s out of my league. Why would she want to talk to me? I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to make a scene. I really want her to like me!” These are just a few of the limiting beliefs that hold guys back from achieving what they want.

And how do you help them?

I teach them that leaving your comfort zone isn’t a big deal to the rest of the world. People don’t notice them as much as they think. I show guys how to be genuine, and build up a mindset that puts them in a position to come across as an attractive guy. I teach them how to find confidence from within, that doesn’t fluctuate based on external factors.

How can people fall back in love with dating after a bad experience?

They take their time. They don’t look to get back into “dating” as soon as possible, but they look to get back into “life”. They immerse themselves in new experiences, people, and places, and forget about trying to find love.

What are some of the biggest pitfalls to watch when dating?

Keep a lookout for the giant red flags. The obvious ones being needy, jealous behavior. Watch for people that want you to give up things you are passionate about for them.

Any tips for staying positive in the face of rejection?

Thinking that you’re going to succeed at something new without facing a good deal of rejection is absurd. Richard Branson has shut down over 200 companies he started that failed. Babe Ruth broke both the home run record and strike out record in the same week in 1923. Michael Jordan has missed over 10,000 shots in his career.

What if they just gave up after their first few rejections? Dealing with rejection is hard because it’s so easy to compare yourself to others’ successes and think you “should be able to do that too.”The only true barometer of success is comparison to your past self.