7 Ways to Amp Up your Dating Game in 2017 According to Top Dating Experts
What I love about the New Year is the chance it gives you to try a different approach, experiment with new things or perhaps even reinvent yourself. If 2016 was a bit blah on the dating front, then you’re in the right place. I come into regular contact with some of the best dating experts on the planet and I love picking their brains for dating tips that I can share with my clients. Here are my favourite tips of theirs to help you amp up your dating game in 2017. (All the photos are by Saskia Nelson for Hey Tuesday – business headshots that break the mould)
Decide to enjoy the process
Lots of our clients come to us for their dating photo shoot and talk about how much they dislike online dating. It must be hard to have fun dates when you don’t actually enjoy online dating so I always come back to this tip by the fabulous dating expert, Rebecca Perkins. “Learn to enjoy the process of online dating if you want more successful dates. Rather than making online dating like a second career, something you have to work at, enjoy connecting with people and taking it as it comes. If a great date comes out of it, that’s great and if not, that’s fine, just move on.”
Be proactive
Do you tend to do online dating half-heartedly? Do you sit around waiting for people to get in touch with you? OK, well this year we’re going for a different approach. Caroline Brealey, who runs the UK’s award-winning Mutual Attraction Matchmaking Agency and Matchmaker Academy, recommends getting proactive. “Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, whether that’s going online, using a matchmaker, signing up for singles events or asking your friends to play matchmaker; be open to love.”
Go on active dates
Charly Lester, the CEO of The Dating Awards and fab new dating app, Spex, recommends getting active on your dates. “If you go to a pub or a bar, you usually end up sitting opposite your date and it can feel a bit like an interview, whereas if you get out and about with them on an active date, there tends to be loads of things happening that you can talk about, you’ll probably end up sitting or standing next to them rather than opposite them, so it’ll be a lot less intimidating and more importantly, you’ll probably end up having a good laugh together.
Toss the rule book out the window
Top dating blogger, Katy Horwood, has won a tonne of awards for the advice, opinions and stories she shares on her top dating and relationship blog, All Sweetness and Life. She recommends throwing away that list of all those things you’re looking for. “Some of the most amazing relationships I’ve had were with people who, on paper, were nothing like what I imagined I was looking for… but when it came to meeting, we just had that spark and all my rules, lists and requirements went out the window! I’d say to a person who had a long list – take a leap of faith and a chance on somebody you wouldn’t normally go for, you might be surprised at the results.”
Ask yourself this one question
I interviewed Hunt Etheridge during a recent trip to New York. I chose him as I knew he was one of the top dating coaches in the US – no mean feat! I loved his one piece of dating advice and recommend it to people all the time. He said,
I always get my clients to ask themselves, ‘Would you date you?’
If all you’ve done over the last month is watch Netflix and chill then you’re not going to have a lot to talk about on dates. My top tip goes back to this; reconnect with fun. The onus falls on you to be interesting. Everyone wants to meet someone interesting but they don’t necessarily want to hold the mirror up to themselves. Are you embracing life, learning new lessons and trying new things?”
Learn the art of listening
Laura Yates is a dating coach who helps people bounce back from heartbreak. She recommends learning to actively listen, not as easy as it sounds.”We completely underestimate how important listening is. In contrast, we often feel that to be interesting, we have to be the one talking and ‘entertaining’. When you properly listen to what your date is telling you though, you’ll ask less ‘surface’ style questions and your date will notice this!”
Embrace the digital detox when it all gets a bit too much
And for those times, when despite following all these cool tips, you’ve just had enough of it all and are starting to get down about it, the fabulous Claudia Cox, who is the creator of Text Weapon and the author of French Seduction Made Easy, recommends taking a break. She says, “Unlimited access to online dating and the digital world can have damaging effects on our lives, including our relationships. If you’re getting to the point where dating is starting to get you down, it might be time to embrace a short but sweet digital detox and take a break from it all. Delete the app, step away from the phone and go out and meet friends IRL.”
